Star Trek: Into Darkness (2013)

Star Trek: Into Darkness (2013)

This week I’m reviewing Star Trek: Into Darkness.  I saw it in theaters not too long ago, so I was surprised to find that it’s already on Netflix.  They don’t even have American Horror Story yet but they managed to get this up quickly enough.  I thought this Into Darkness was really good after I saw it in theaters, but after reading a couple negative criticisms, mainly for lack of depth and straying too far from the original, I decided to watch it again to see if maybe I was tricked by the beautiful CG and gratuitous action.  For the record I am reviewing this title as a film fan only, not a Butthurt Trekkie.  Mostly because I am younger and the Star Trek I grew up with involved Professor X so my opinions on all things Star Trek are invalid.

Set phasers to stun!

The Plot

After a botched mission on a planet populated by an undeveloped culture, Kirk fucks up, kind of.  Using his gut feeling (which as far as I can tell is all that makes his special), Kirk exposes the Enterprise to the tribe of aliens to save Spock’s life.  I use the term life loosely as he looks and acts like a robot, but we’re constantly reminded he is not only a Vulcan, but half human as well, meaning his empathetic side will be integral to the plot later on.  Anyway, after risking his life to save a comrade, Kirk is stripped of his captaincy and must serve as First Officer of his own ship.  I guess they never heard of no man left behind.

After a terrorist attack on a Starfleet installation an emergency meeting is called, gathering all of Starfleets’s brightest minds in one wide open, unprotected room.  Predictably, the attack on the installation was implemented to facilitate this very meeting.  The counsel room comes under fire and many Starfleet officers perish in the attack.  In the most Captain Kirk way imaginable (by throwing a gun rather than firing it), he manages to take down the attacking gunship, even catching a glimpse of the assailant before he vanishes.

The terrorist is identified as John Harrison, who using alien technology, was able to teleport away from the attack to the one place he knows Starfleet can’t come after him, Kronos.  Kronos is a Klingon planet.  Starfleet and the Klingons have an agreement that basically says, you stay away and we’ll forget about you, but if you come close to our planet we’ll fuck you up.

Shortly after, Kirk is reinstated as captain of the Enterprise and assigned to the capture of Harrison in a Black Ops type of mission.  Exciting!

My Take

The risk you run when remaking a classic franchise is pissing off the fans of the original.  For this reason, Star Trek: Into Darkness has gotten mixed reviews.  Generally the average film viewer really liked it, while Star Trek fans that are loyal to the original (Trekkies) were a little bit more standoffish.  I read several reviews giving 1 or 2 out of 10, claiming the movie is a mess, which I think is a little bit misguided and inaccurate.
First off, as I’ve said before, there are very few movies that actually deserve a 1/10 rating.  For me a 1/10 is a film starring action figures where you can still see the people’s hands moving them around.  This movie is shot using a potato, with a sock wrapped around it for a filter, and a Coleman lamp for lighting.  The only live action actor is Hayden Christianson and he plays a girl.  That is a one 1/10, not Star Trek.  Giving Into Darkness 1/10 is an indication of a biased reviewer.  You wouldn’t take Hitler’s views on racism, why would you take a loyalist Trekkie’s take on the remake of their beloved classic franchise.  Times have changed, CG has gotten better.  Granted the fight scenes don’t quite measure up to the original

First you want to kill me, now you want to kiss me

The main criticism I’ve read is that Into Darkness is too action based and not intellectual/political enough.  I can accept that, as I would have loved to learn more about the Klingons, whose apparent only purpose in this film is to get their asses beat.  However you can’t complain about too much action in a fantasy/action movie.  If anything Trekkie’s should be praising this new movie.  Star Trek is cool and sexy now!!!  God forbid a Trekkie gets laid every once in a while.

Come hither Lover

Personally I hated the Uhura/Spock love thing.  I wish they would focus more on Kirks womanizing and less on a forced love affair between two robots.  Seriously Kirk will fuck anything.  And what is the policy on getting freaky with aliens anyway?  I guess society in the future (that’s when Star Trek takes place right?) is more accepting of carnal relations between different species than it is today.  Sure the aliens are all hot, but I would expect there would be some kind of law against that sort of thing.  White people killed off tons of Native Americans with their diseases back in the day, and we are all the same species.  One can only imagine the kind of diseases we could get from one of these...

Uhh, I think I'm with Kirk on this one

The Verdict

Shut up about ruining the franchise.  Have you guys seen Eragon?  Or Ender’s Game?  Spiderman 3?  These are franchise killers.  I thought Into Darkness was very well done.  All actors turned in good performances, the CGI was spectacular and the story was good (though not great).  Again would have liked to explore the Earth vs. Kronos rivalry but here’s hoping for a sequel.

8.2/10