The Loved Ones (2009)

The Loved Ones (2009)

                The Loved Ones is an Australian film written and directed by Sean Byrne.  It is yet another Netflix gem I found while slowly wasting my life online.  It follows high school burnout Brent (Xavier Samuel) who unfortunately rejects the wrong, emotionally damaged girls invite to prom.  This girl Lola (Robin McLeavy) takes the rejection very poorly and has her daddy (John Brumpton) kidnap Brent so they can have their own, private prom.  The events that follow are quite graphic and disturbing.  

THE PLOT

Brent, who is troubled because he killed his father in a motor vehicle accident is dealing with the tragedy in his own way, self medicating using copious amounts of weed and keeping his personal hygiene to a bare minimum.  Seriously this guy looks like possessed Regan from The Exorcist.  Anyway, he somehow manages to get a girlfriend named Holly who, if you can get past the colony of skittles sized moles, is still far out of his league.  Unfortunately the socially retarded Lola doesn’t understand what a relationship is, and proceeds to ask Brent to the upcoming school dance anyway.  I felt Brent was very gentle and tender in turning down Lola’s offer, and I actually felt bad for the both of them.

Oooh, right in the feels

Later that day, Brent heads off to his favorite hangout spot to take his mind off things and get high, unfortunately this is when Psycho Daddy enters the scene and subdues Brent using chloroform.  Brent wakes up tied to a chair, dressed rather dapper in a tux, but otherwise just fine.  Sitting around the dinner table with him are Lola, her dad (who is most definitely an incestual pedophile), and a lobodomy patient named Bright Eyes.  Together they are going to throw the most epic party! Right?  And from the practiced way that Daddy is conducting business, it is obvious that this type of party is nothing new to them.

MY TAKE

First of let me say that this film is a very entertaining take on the modern torture porn genre.  The performances turned in by Robin McLeavy and John Brumpton are very disturbing.  They achieve a level of creepy that there is no coming back from, although in several scenes I am ashamed to admit that Lola was kind of turning me on.  The special effects in this movie are quite good, and the main plot is brilliant.  Brent experiences several life changing moments in this film, and we get to see several sides of his character.  His nemesis, the lovely Lola, transforms from the poor, neglected sweetheart we see at school wearing a pink tee shirt with a unicorn on it to the twisted, sexually torturous monster she portrays later in the film. 

Say what again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker!

She is the epitome of today’s spoiled princess who gets whatever she wants.  Her Daddy, without the guidance of a strong woman, gives into his little angel’s every need, and is willing to sink to the lowest levels to get it, but one look at his weasely little smile tells us that he loves it.  The growing severity of Brent’s situation, coupled with sinister character reveals about Lola and Daddy create a tense atmosphere that successfully builds suspense and keeps you watching. 

An interesting aspect of this movie is an utter lack of dialogue from the main character.  Upon waking up in Lola’s house, Daddy sprays some kind of foam down Brent’s throat rendering him unable to speak at all.  He can still emit inhuman sounding screeches, which adds yet another unsettling dimension to the film.  It also emphasises how completely helpless Brent is in this situation.

This movie has so much going for it, unfortunately it does fall short in a couple areas.  The subplot seems like a complete time filler to make this film feature length.  Brent’s best friend takes a hot Goth chick named Mia Valentine out to the prom that Brent probably wishes he was at.  It only correlates to the primary plot by the thinnest of strings, Mia is related to one of Lola’s previous victims, Timmy Valentine.  Unfortunately the subplot never resolved and never really merges with the main plot.  The Valentine family never does find out the truth about what happened to Timmy, and honestly, what did happen him?  Lola says he escaped, and we saw him at the start of the film, he was the one that caused Brent’s car accident.  However Timmy wasn’t hit in the accident, and he apparently escaped from Lola, so where is he?  He was bleeding pretty good when he escaped, but no worse than Brent was when he eventually makes a run for it, and he is somehow able to drive a fucking car.  There is no reason that Timmy couldn’t have gotten away.  The only way the two plots even touch is when Mr. Valentine, who is a cop, arrives at Lola’s house to ask a few questions, but this is wholly unfulfilling and doesn’t exactly resolve anything.  As critical as I am of the subplot, it does manage to provide comedy and relieve tension from the main plot, which is likely the only reason, besides time requirement, it was included in the film.

THE VERDICT

            Despite the flaws, this movie still has a lot to offer and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  The lack of a subplot affected the story negatively, but from a mere enjoyment standpoint, it added a dimension of comedy, which this type of movie needs to relieve some tension and allow the audience to ready up for the next round of torture.  The torture scenes themselves are fairly intense and even made me nervous a couple times (though I always get nervous when a man’s dick is in trouble).  The only thing preventing this movie from cracking into the 8’s was an underwhelming resolution to a story that had great potential.  Never the less I highly recommend this film.  Even if you have a problem with some aspects of it, like I did, you will still enjoy it for what it is.

7.1/10