Pain and Gain (2013)

Pain and Gain (2013)

Pain and Gain is based on a true story, just try to remember that while you laugh your way through this ridiculous film.   Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Anthony Mackie and Tony Shaloub star in this smash hit by director Michael Bay.  I applaud Bay for going light on the explosions and destruction in this film, and instead focusing on character development and comedy, though he did manage to squeeze at least one explosion in there fer da boys.

THE PLOT

Daniel Lugo (Wahlberg) is a simple man.  He believes in fitness and wants nothing more than to live life large.  He wants money to go with that rock hard body.  Unfortunately he is a complete meat head stuck in a dead end job as personal trainer with a criminal record.  Sick of being low man on the totem pole, he decides that if he can’t earn all that he wants, he’s going to have to take it by force.  The perfect target falls into his lap in the form of Victor Kershaw (Shaloub).  Kershaw is wealthy, greedy and a complete asshole, so you tend to find yourself not exactly feeling sorry for him.  Lugo enlists two of his fellow body builders; Adrian Doorball (Mackie) and the Paul Doyle (Johnson) to help him take down Kershaw.  They decide to kidnap Kershaw and force him to sign away all of his money to them, but things so sour when Kershaw is able to identify Lugo, even through his Ninja costume and thick Columbian accent.

Hola Amigos

Despite a few setbacks, the boys are able to forcibly take everything away from Kershaw, but now they have a problem. What are they going to do with Kershaw?  They devise a plan to make it look like Kershaw was killed in a drunk driving accident.  Obviously, being incompetent criminals, they botch the plan and Kershaw is able to escape, though he is pretty mangled.  Kershaw goes into hiding and hires a private detective to get to the bottom of the case, but ultimately they seem to have nothing.  The boys look like they are in the clear, only they burn through their money pretty fast, so they need to pull off another heist.  Will this one go as smoothly?  No, no it won’t.

My Take

This movie is so fucking funny that it’s hard to take it seriously as a “based on a true crime” story.  Ultimately the events that this film is based on are horrible and people’s lives were ruined, but for some reason I just can’t stop laughing through this film.  The character development is phenomenal.  Lugo is a classic meat head, who is a master manipulator and can easily influence his two sidekicks into following his hair brained plans.  Wahlberg, as always turns in an excellent performance.  Doorball is a roided out fitness buff who has injected himself to the point of impotence.  He also has a thing for heavyset white chicks.  By far and away the best character is Paul Doyle though.  Everything about The Rock’s character is god damn ridiculous.  He is an ex-con, former coke addict who turned to God in a time of need.  He also totes around a skateboard with no explanation whatsoever.  He looks like Hawaiian Hulk and everything he says and does is comedy gold. 

This is our dream team

Together, they make for a hilarious, though severely misguided trio.  Things, as they often do, go from bad to worse as they continuously make horrible decisions that lead them down a progressively more gruesome and illegal path.

The Verdict

Seeing The Rock get coked out and crazy is by itself worth watching this movie.  I might have even laughed harder the second time I watched it.  I would definitely rank this as one of the most enjoyable movies of 2013.  Just watch it, it will fill you with good feels and educate you on everything not to do with your life.

8.6/10