Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Thor: The Dark World

Thor: The Dark World is the newest addition to the Marvel family.  It isn’t at all out of place, adopting the humorous, borderline cheesy theme of its predecessors that we all inexplicably love.  Basically it is enjoyable and fun, but as I am a bit of an asshole, that just isn’t enough for me anymore.  I left the theatre happy (helped along by the fact that I had a free ticket) but I was hoping for more.  The real saving grace of this film is shown in the after credit scene. It looks like a sign of good things to come though so I’m holding on to the idea that the Marvel franchise is about to turn a big corner.

The Plot

Things are going pretty well in Asgaard.  Odin rules with an iron fist, Thor is off warring and drinking and Loki once again is locked up, never to escape.

Nobody believes that for even one second

Odin wants Thor to settle down with the sword wielding beauty Sif, and take over as the new King of Asgaard.  Needless to say, Thor has other plans.  He is a warrior and has his heart set on swinging his hammer rather than knocking boots. 

In other news, the seven worlds are about to align which apparently means they are ripe for conquering.  Coincidentally, this provides the perfect opportunity for Jane Foster (you may remember her as Thor’s barely willing one night stand from the first film) to stumble upon one of the most dangerous glowing mystery weapons known to the universe; the Aether.  Think red Tesseract; just as ominous and uninteresting, but just as otherworldly powerful.  Jane’s taught body absorbs the Aethers powers and she becomes a glowing red version of herself, but you know, more dangerous. 

Thor awkwardly swoops in to investigate, frustrated that he has to see his kind of girlfriend again after two peaceful, nag free years.  He decides he must fly her back to Asgaard to investigate the cause of the disturbance.  Thor speaks in olde English sentences that mean slightly more than nothing and the two share an awkward kiss.  Seriously, homie disappears for two years, is by no means compassionate and still gets to shack up with Natalie Portman because he’s abs.        

You could say they don't have chemistry

But what about the bad guy?  Well, after being defeated many years ago by Odin, an evil dark elf named Malekith has been lying dormant for years, waiting for the Aether to reappear so he can seek revenge on the leader of Asgaard.  Low and behold, the Aether turns up in Asgaard, providing the perfect opportunity for Malekith to round up his remaining soldiers and launch an assault.  Malekith wants the Aether to make all the worlds dark for his elves to live in… I think.  His motives besides revenge are never really made clear.  Either way, war has come to Asgaard and Thor must turn to his greatest rival for help.

I'm back bitches

My Take

First of all, the villainy in this film is far too black and white.  Why not develop Malekith more?  We should be shown more about his origin to make him more relatable (kind of like what happened with Loki) so that we feel bad for him and understand what he’s doing and why.  He and his dark elves are cool looking and all but because we don’t exactly understand what they’re doing and why, they don’t really amount to much more than generic bad guys.  All we really know about them is that they want to live in the dark and like the dicks they are, want black out everything for everyone.  If we could be emotionally attached to more than just the “good guy” the film would be way deeper and the action scenes would be more than just smash this and smash that.  Most viewers probably find Loki as likable, if not more likable than Thor, despite the fact that he is a treacherous villain.  Why not do this with all the villains.  I get it, Malekith is evil, but no character ever is that black and white, even Darth Vader started out as a good guy and he would wipe his ass with Malekith. 

And it's not even close

Comic fans are still waiting for Marvel to create a bad guy who is worthy of taking on any of the Avengers, never mind all of them.  So far Loki is the biggest baddie, and he is basically a weaker version of Thor.  He is entertaining and oddly charming, but he is really laughable as a main villain.  Judging by the end credit scene, our wait may be drawing to an end.  It appears the Marvel universe is preparing to unveil their biggest meanie yet.  

Thor and Loki make a better couple than Thor and Jane.  They have a charismatic relationship that is fun to watch.  We want them to get along, but we know it’s just not in their nature.  With Jane, Thor seems wooden and their relationship is boring.  I wasn’t buying their love story at all.  Thor has only one love, glory.    I wish there was less Jane, even though I fucking love Natalie Portman, her character just seems like a convenient vessel to try to cram a love interest into a film where one isn’t really needed.  There needs to be Less of Jane and less of her crew.  Honestly who really cares about them at this point?  All they are really doing is taking screen time away from the Malekith and the bad guys who could use it to become more than one dimensional targets for Thor’s mighty Hammer. 

The Verdict

This movie is basically just filler until the next Avengers movie.  The Avengers may have raised the stakes so much that any other attempt at a Marvel movie will always seem like its missing something.  Anyway, it was a fun watch with a nice blend of comedy, darkness, smashing and Loki.  It is as good as a Thor movie can be without the rest of the Avengers.  Bring on the Winter Soldier.

7.3/10